Recently we had a dedication service at our church, New City Church MK, to give thanks for our new arrival, and to dedicate ourselves as parents and as the church community to bringing her up in the ways of the Lord. I shared a testimony about what God has done in our lives:
A couple of months ago, our two-year-old learned the word “two”. She worked out that if you have one thing and another thing, you have “two”. And whenever there was a pair of something, she would point in wonder and go “Two!” At the dinner table, with a couple of spoons, “Two poons!”, or for her favourite toys “Two Peppa!”
And now it’s all that Beverley and I can do to point in wonder at our pair of little daughters and go “Two!”
For most parents, their children are a wonder. But for us, there is a particular poignancy to celebrating our second daughter’s arrival. For many years, our hopes for having a family were uncertain and delayed.
After Bev and I got married, we struggled with a condition which made physical intimacy very difficult for us. Bev also suffered with a spell of depression, and I was clueless about how to navigate us through this or how to get help.
We feared we might never be able to have children of our own together. It took a long time to get past the depression and feelings of shame to be able to begin overcoming our difficulties together.
The years ticked by. The Mothers’ Days and Fathers’ Days were a painful reminder of what we didn’t have. The question, sometimes asked tactfully, other times bluntly, “so, are you planning on starting on a family?” was another painful jab, which we carefully deflected except when talking to those closest to us.
But as painful as it was, God was faithful to us. We were forced beyond our own resources, to seek help from God and from other people to address some of the most private and difficult parts of our life. We learned the hard way to trust that God would be good, whatever the future held for us.
And now he has blessed us richly, with two beautiful daughters.
If not for all we had been through, we might have been tempted to find our highest identity in life in family and parenthood, rather than in God, to make an idol of domestic life.
Our years of disappointment established deep roots of trust in God that have sustained us in the early years of parenting, and put it in healthy perspective. That has enabled us to receive all the joys of small children with thanksgiving. And it has also helped us to give thanks too for all the challenges, all the sacrifices of time and sleep and comfort that come with caring for tiny ones.
Psalm 103 says:
“As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.but from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts
So we are delighted to have you join with us in giving thanks for our new daughter, and praying that she will grow to love the Lord and enter into his covenant through faith in Jesus.
If you’re reading this and are going through pains of difficulties in terms of marriage, relationships or children, my prayer is that you will know that you are not alone. We need to help one another, and to be able to talk about our problems honestly. Blessings.
